Responding with Love and Care

How to respond with God's love

Hey everyone! It’s yours truly, Ken, and I’m back with this week’s post! Quick disclaimer, this is my first time writing a devotional so apologies if it really sucks. This post was inspired by a little fight I had with a friend, and thought this post would serve both as a reminder to myself and y’all. So, let’s get into it.

Photo by Levi Guzman on Unsplash

An Example of

I'm going to give an example I had with a friend awhile ago. No names, but an example of both of us not treating the other respectively or responding with God's love.

I recently had a friend that I was talking to. I was just joking around, but I said some things that I shouldn't have. She responded very harshly and I started crying. I wasn't trying to be mean, and I realized I hadn't been sensitive. But her reaction didn't approach that, I was told how dare I, I was a bad person for even suggesting such a thing. I immediately apologized, but she didn't apologize for her wording… I don't think she realized how much it hurt me. She responded to my apology saying it was all good. But I was hurt by her response.

Later on I reached out to her and told her that I felt hurt by her response and that I had been extremely insensitive and wasn't trying to excuse that, but that her response really hurt… She responded by apologizing, she hadn't realized that her response had hurt me in return.

We made up after that, but this is just an example of how easily things slip out. Once you've said something, you can't retract it, it's out there. We so often respond with anger that to respond with love requires so much practice and it almost hurts more to back off and respond lovingly rather than to just get angry.

Things We Can Do

• Responding respectfully

  1. This one is so hard to do. All you want to do is just yell and throw dirt in their faces. But instead, we need to be calm and respectful. As you are reading this pause and think about what image first comes to mind when you think about God loving you. Now, you are going to use that image. When someone comes up to you and starts saying things you don’t agree with or that anger you, take one deep breath, and in those three seconds remember that image, and remember the love God showed you in that image.

  2. You can’t master this. You are certain to fail so many times. But you will win so many more times. Remember in Matthew 18, how Peter goes up to Jesus and asks him how many times he has to forgive his brother. Jesus doesn’t say once is fine, he says more times than you can even count. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”” Matthew 18:21-22. This is how many times Jesus has forgiven us, more than we can even count.

  3. In Psalm 73:26 David writes “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

  4. Now, these may not seem as though they all connect, so let me connect them for you. When we respond with Love and are respectful, we are portraying the Love that God has given us in forgiving us. In Psalm 73 David is reminding us that we are sinful, and we will fail, but through God we will persevere.

• Not overreacting

  1. Wow, not overreacting, how original. Nope, it’s really not. In fact, it’s probably one of the most common things said to a person, stop overreacting, quit being so dramatic, etc…

  2. Guess what, there’s a reason it’s so common. Because everyone does it. We all know we shouldn’t, but we do anyways. In fact, it’s one of the hardest habits to break, because it’s second nature to us. If you recall in my example, I said that I started crying, that was an example of overreacting. “But they probably said something really mean!” Yes, but it wasn’t meant to be super mean, if I had responded right then and there, it may well have turned quite nasty. I had to pull myself together and calm down before responding.

  3. Returning to the Matthew section on forgiveness that I put in the section above, before we could have a productive conversation, I needed to first forgive her, return to God, and remember that God is taking care of me and Loves me. Then I needed to take a huge breath, and reach out. Remembering that whatever my friend or the other person says, my worth is safe in God. Only then can you truly have that productive conversation.

• Respond to help their understanding.

  1. Nine times out of ten they didn’t mean to be rude, disrespectful, aggravating, or whatever else you want to call it. So when you are responding respectfully and calmly, respond in such a way that conveys your feelings, while also taking into account their feelings, and trying to show them that you understand your mistake as well as trying to help them understand how they caused pain.

  2. Matthew 7:3-5 says “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”

  3. Similarly, when you respond, first admit your own mistakes. This may feel a little overkill, but lay your soul bare, show them that you are not righteous, and have no way to throw that first stone. John 3:7 “And as they continued to ask him, he stood to and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”” You are not without sin, you are only trying to open their eyes to the fact that, in my case, they hurt you. Admit your fault, and show them.

• Bring them up, don't pull them down.

  1. Don’t accuse the other person for the sake of accusing them. Instead gently try to show them how they could have better responded, so that they can grow.

  2. Be open to having others show you how you could’ve better responded so that you can grow as well. This is a two-way street, remember, you are not without sin as well. This is specifically for me, something I struggle in quite a lot. When people try to show me better ways, I often feel attacked, which sometimes has to do with the way they talk to me. But more often it is the idea of not being perfect and not being open to that constructive criticism.

Through God

I know that was really long, and if you’re anything like me you probably felt tempted to just skim it all. I hope you did read it and benefited from it greatly. But if it was just too long, I have one takeaway that I would like you to all remember.

God Loves you and wants you to show that same Love in all you do.

Thank you for reading and I hope you’ll join us next time! Sorry for the lack of humor today, I didn’t have quite enough time to go through and insert little humor pieces throughout, I hope you’ll forgive me for that.

P.S. Go back through and read all the headings together.

Yours Truly, Ken